Life's just Peachy!

The women where I work seem obsessed with the Daily Mail website. At first, when they kept mentioning it, I thought that I'd perhaps started working with a load of hysterical-right-wing nutters. But, as it turns out, the Daily Mail is not just the last bastion of all that is wrong with middle-England, but a treasure trove of celebrity gossip! Who'd have thought it? The Daily Mail writing about WAGs, Hollyoaks, and (shock horror) lesbians. Try as I might to pretend I am above such tittle-tattle, one such article did catch my eye yesterday: Peaches Geldof's magazine column sparks hail of abuse by that old hack The Daily Mail Reporter (have they never heard of bylines at the Daily Mail?!) Ever one to read the misfortunes of someone younger and more successful than I, I read on.

Now, I like Nylon magazine. I buy it at the extortionate Comag import price because it represents the kind of women's magazine that is sadly lacking in the British market. There is real journalism in its pages, thoughtful reviews, some fashion/styling advice but always done with boundless creativity. There are no sex or weight loss tips and they, more often than not, carry interviews with the kind of witty, independent-lady actors and singers that I like. I vaguely remember seeing Peaches' face a couple of issues ago and knew she was involved in their website but had never had the joy of reading her enlightening musings on life, travel, fashion and music.

I tried, I really did, to read her columns (1 and 2) with an open mind. After all, Nylon > Daily Mail in both the cool and sensible stakes. I trust the editors of one of my favourite magazines to exercise the same good judgement they do in putting the rest of their magazine together. But in this instance, unfortunately they have got it so so very wrong.

Granted, she is a teenager, and pretty much all teenagers go through a period of writing cringe-worthy prose that relies on cliches (I know I did). London is all 'cobbled streets', everyone wears 'plaid' in America, all that is cool is 'vintage', everyone cool is her 'best friend', etc. But most teenagers don't get deemed worthy of a column in an uber-popular magazine. Hell, most of them don't even get deemed worthy of making the tea! Then again, most of us don't have Sir Bob for a dad (though I kind of wish I did as I happen to be one of three people who quite like the Boom Town Rats).

This may sound like sour grapes and, in a way, it is. Because, for anyone who has ever dreamed of being a writer, seeing people who can't write very well get published is a tad frustrating. The editors of Nylon should know that a large part of their readership think themselves marginally cool, creative, perhaps even a bit talented, and that they aspire to people with real talent, which is why, I assume, they aren't like every other stupid magazine. Therefore it is obviously going to piss a few people off if you publish some badly written, badly edited fluff written by someone largely famous for being famous.

I'm not saying that she shouldn't be a writer, write away to your heart's content. But take some classes first and practice practice practice. If I submitted such lazy writing on my journalism course I would have been reduced to tears and my work set on fire (only a slight exaggeration about the fire bit, the tears are true). In fact the start of her first article reminds me of my first class on feature writing where we were told to go sit somewhere and 'set the scene'. But then you move on, get deeper, and that's the bit she doesn't seem to have grasped yet.

Perhaps Nylon's editor-in-chief should stop "strumming his guitar" and think about giving opportunities to people with real talent and interesting stories to tell.

I really do hope that Nylon readers know that this so-called 'British Invasion' of Lily Allen, Peaches Geldof, Amy Winehouse, et al is representative of the UK. Cause it's about as accurate as Dick Van Dyke doing an English accent!